Man! What a year that was! It was crazy! Good crazy! I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat.
The last year was amazing. So many things happened and I am so absolutely thankful for. Let’s start reminiscing, shall we?
So, we started the year six months pregnant. I was already anxious to greet the kid in me and was praying for time to move faster.
I embarked on a project to help me make time fly so on New Year’s, I revamped the old computer chair. I thought this would take me atleast two days but I finished it in under an hour. Hah! So much for making time move faster!
Chinese New Year
2013 was the first Chinese New Year (CNY) that we didn’t go back to Taiping. So we celebrated CNY with my family in KL. The CNY in Taiping will now always be a small affair as my mom’s family has gotten smaller and all of us are married (and soon the other sis!). It’s sad for me because I’ve always gone down for CNY and I love love love Taiping. I also feel a little sad for my parents because their three girls will spend CNY elsewhere. This year will most likely be the same.
This was by far the most memorable, scary and challenging thing we have done. When we went for Hypnobirthing, I told myself to stay calm, no painkillers, if possible, then all broke loose when my contractions came barely one second after another (I kid you not, and I am not even fully dilated yet!). I pleaded with my husband that I wanted an epidural and he too gave in (yes, you gave in leh. :) ). Called for the anesthetist and when he didn’t come in half an hour later, I asked the midwife where he was! Desperate moments, people! I gotta do what I gotta do! She very firmly said, “You have to wait. He will be coming soon.” I was moaning from all the pain, wasting all my energy and totally ignoring everything I learnt in Hypnobirthing when the anesthetist came in and scolded me for moaning. Told me to basically shut up and breathe. That’s when I started using my Hypnobirthing basics again and breathed. The epidural was administered and after a while (and a few adjustments later) I slept. At home before we left for the hospital, I have already told myself that if I can’t take it, don’t stress and do the necessary.
All through my contractions, I bled. Blood gushed out and I can feel it. It didn’t just trickled. It was scary.
When I was dilated enough, the midwife lowered the epidural and I felt the contractions again. I was told when to push, I combined both the breathing technique and pushing. You know what they say, if you are on epidural, you don’t know how to push? It’s not true. I felt everything but not to the point of being too painful. I know when my contractions came and I breathed through it. I was gushing out a lot of blood so a vacuum was done on the kid and out she came! Felt her, saw her before the rest of her body came out.
After that, the husband was hovering beside me and didn’t look like he was too excited about the baby. After everything was done, he told me that I was bleeding so much that gauze after gauze was used. My gynae took 45 minutes to stitch me up. I had an internal tear which was why I was bleeding throughout and after. That’s when I realized that my gynae was very quiet throughout the stitching and the midwives were equally quiet too. It must have been a scary moment for all except me, who had the nerve to ask my doctor, “So, the tear bad ah? How many degrees?”.
Needless to say, I said a thank you prayer because if I knew about the bleeding, I might have panicked.
This is the second most wonderful thing I did in 2013 and STILL doing it in 2014!
I blogged about my journey and challenges here and about how I nursed in public here.
Who would have thought that we would be daring enough to bring the kid to China at seven months. To top that off, it was winter and we went to Jiuzhaigou where it’s elevation starts at 2000m! Well, when we got there, we actually brought the kid straight up to Songpan where it’s elevation was at 2900m on day two.
Other than a couple of crazy sleepless nights by the kid, the trip was eventful and I am glad we went even though there were a couple of concerns from others. The kid adjusted so well, you forget that you’re at an elevation of 2900m.
I had the greatest opportunity last year. I got to do the one thing I’ve always wanted to do; to be a mom.
Motherhood 24/7 is not for everyone. On certain days, I cried. Sometimes happy, sometimes angry and sometimes frustrated. It is never easy. When I was working, I’d skip work sometimes when I don’t feel like it, but this one, there is no escaping. No medical leaves, no holidays. Some days, when you are sick, and she doesn’t want to sleep, it’s probably your worst days! I know it was mine. I can’t sleep and I can’t rest, that’s when you start to feel agitated. Or when you had a bad night, you wake up all tired and angry. Then, she smiles and you are all soft hearted again. Nothing is as rewarding as seeing your kid grow and watching (and participating) in all her milestones!
The highlight of my 2013 was definitely D. I am so utterly thankful to have her. After our miscarriage and our ectopic in 2011, I was absolutely nervous throughout my pregnancy. Every trip to the gynae was (silently) nerve wrecking. Each time we did the ultrasound, I pray that she moves so that we know….. we know she’s there. Many people are against ultrasounds, but for us, it’s a reassurance that this is it! This is the one.
Of course, none of this would have gone so well if it wasn’t for my husband. He has supported me all the way from birthing to breastfeeding to motherhood and I know I couldn’t do it without him. He makes itso much easier for me in so many ways, love him to bits! ♥
I’ve grown, loved, cried and bonded so much this year. It was an amazing year. So truly amazing. I hope that one day, D can read this and know she is the best thing in our lives (but D, if you are reading this and you have siblings, you are all the best thing in our lives! – sorry, just had to get that in there!)
Thank you 2013. It was fun! I will miss you lots!